The things I want are not what you think I want. I do not want clothes, or shoes, or material things. What I hope for is a state of mind.

I want to wake up excited for the day, every day. I do not only want to look forward to the special days when something new is planned.

I want to live without stressing about schedules: work schedules, sleep schedules, no schedules. Except for the ones I create. No life except the life I choose.

I want to be adventurous without worrying about the things that I should be doing.

I want to be reckless without worrying about my reputation.

I want to stay up and sleep late without knowing that the next day will be a waste because of it.

I want to have a job that doesn’t exhaust me so much that by the time I get home I have nothing left in me other than the ability to get ready for the next day.

I want to go outside and see the sun without glass in between.

I want to be happy.

I want to care about things that I care about because I care about them, and not because I’m supposed to according to someone else.

I want to look forward to tomorrow because I am excited about each second.

I want to want to live every moment to its fullest, and not see each day as something standing in my way. One more day on the count down to something.

I want more from life than this.

So stop telling me that I want I want I want, because I have studied, and I have worked, and I have tried this current lifestyle to my best ability. Now I think I deserve, but that doesn’t mean that I will stop working. I only want to work for something that I actually want instead of what I’ve been forced into caring about.

©C.O’Connor, 2016