Star Gazing

I have spent hours upon hours of my life gazing at the stars. I have always been so enraptured by the peaceful feeling that permeates through my mind and soul while staring into that endless space of sparkles. It makes me feel so small and so insignificant, but in the best way possible. It reminds me that life itself is a miracle. We are all, all of us humans, small bits of magic. The problems that I believe are problems do not exist. The possibilities of this universe are infinite. Each and every moment is a gift of chance. The choices that speed up my heart and keep me awake into the hours of the morning are not worth the worry.

The stars remind me that it will be okay. The world will continue, and life, this life we live deserves to be enjoyed. Life needs to be appreciated and loved. Life deserves adventures and laughter. I deserve all of these things.

Worry, stress, and rage have no place under my night sky, the color of my soul, black, sparkly, and infinite. If you are in the right place away from the rest of the world. If you take the time to step away from the rest of us humans and our lights every color is there just waiting to be seen.

When I stand there in the darkness and look up at the flickering lights older than life itself; I feel endless, infinite, and invincible. And you, you beautiful bit of magic, are one of the only human beings I have ever known who makes me feel the same.

©C. O’Connor, 2018

Showtime

Step into my office! Welcome to the show! Watch me demonstrate in startling detail all of these things I don’t care enough about to be good at!

Look at me! Watch as I accurately portray whatever it is you think I should be.

All of this while you OOH and AAH!

I can bend over backwards and say pretty words! I can dance and sing and throw glitter in your eyes blocking you from all of my well timed lies.

I mean JOKES! It’s funny. I can be that too!

Please sir! Please!? Ignore the person behind the curtain and this face behind its paint.

No! DO NOT touch the art… it’s already falling apart.

EXCUSE ME backstage is off limits! You need a ticket to enter long term memory.

No, that’s it this is over now.

You need to leave! You need to go! GO! GET AWAY! Quick before anyone else can see the layers, plaster, duct tape, and glued lies I show to all of you.

See what you’ve done? You’ve taken away all of the fun.

There’s not much here past the sparkles and eyes. There not much here past all of the lies.

Not much.

That’s all that there is.

A flawed, chipped, and imperfect being.

There’s nothing more here to see!

Just another human. Just another bag of organs and emotions made of matter I don’t understand.

You know this. You all do. So why? Why do you expect to see a show encompassing much much more than just me?

Simplicity my friends. Simplicity is key.

©C. O’Connor, 2018