I had a dream last night. One of those ones that stays with you for a while, you know? But the thing is, it wasn’t about me or maybe it was. In this dream I was missing. I don’t know where I was or where I went, but I wasn’t there. You were. You were all alone. No one would listen to you. No one would listen when you tried to tell them that I was gone. No one cared about me. No one cared about you as your voice grew hoarse with the screaming. No one cared at all. They just stared. They stared as you fought. They stared as you tried to make them understand… that I was gone.

When I woke up I had this fear that had settled deep inside of my chest. It felt like I was being weighed down. It felt like I was being drowned by my own mind. I kept wondering what it is. The only question I could create was a wonder of what it is that I am leaving? What am I leaving when I’m done here? I don’t how much time I have left here with you. But I do need to ask. I have one request left to make. The only one that still matters.

When my time comes, please… please forget all these wrongs that I have done?

Most people forgot me a long long time ago. So, I ask you. I ask you to try and help me leave behind something. Help me leave behind a reason to be missed. Please don’t hate me when I’m gone. Don’t try and follow me. You belong here. I know you and I know that you will give up. So, when you’re feeling empty just keep me in your memory.

Keep me in your heart. Think of the good times. All the happy times. All the times you held me close, and all the times we swore that we would never let go. Keep these memories of me inside of your heart. But as for the rest… forget it.

Leave out all the rest.

©C. O’Connor, 2018