Tag: rant

The Notes

On By rantandrave3In UncategorizedLeave a comment

The notes were from a good night. An entire pile of memories from an amazing summer. A summer that ended so abruptly. The notes and pieces of flower decorations became the memories of the disaster. They now carried with them thoughts of thrashing, screaming, and glass shattering. They now represent what had been lost. What I once had. They remind me of the betrayal. They remind me of the people who said they would be there forever. But their idea of forever stopped when the first thin went wrong. The notes remind me of friends who weren’t friends and warm summer nights.

I try to focus on the good now.

©C. O’Connor

A little bit of my darkness

On By rantandrave3In Rants, UncategorizedLeave a comment

My hands are shaking today. I hate the shaking. It’s like the set up to the downfall of my mind. The doors are rattling and everyone is screaming. The hinges have loosened and the cages holding in my demons aren’t as strong as they used to be.

My fucking demons are screaming at me.

They hate me. They’ll ruin me if given the chance.

But sometimes I wonder what would happen if I let them out. Would they really ruin my life or show me the life I could have? Could live? Should be living?

A little chaos could be good for the soul.

The bottles that hold my emotions are breaking. They’ve been packed in too tight. It looks like a mess in there. Be careful of the broken glass!

I’m losing myself!  OR Am I finding myself?

Was there really every anything worth saving? Is there anything left worth salvaging? I think my demons are laughing at me now. They know I’m losing it. That small bit of control I still had. Why am I so afraid of losing something I was never proud of to begin with? Was I ever proud of myself?

Rarely… only when I let the demons out.

©C. O’Connor 2016

#4

On By rantandrave3In poetryLeave a comment

My name is Darkness

My name is Fear

My name is anything that haunts you dear.

My name is Hate

My name is Cold

My name is all your nightmares hold.

My name is fixed

My name is all

My name is in every lost soul’s call.

I am here

I am there

I am within the darkest stare.

I am the shadows

I am the light

I am the thing haunting your dreams at night.

My name is forgotten

My name is unknown

My name is in the shiver on your neck when you think you are alone.

©C. O’Connor, 2016

Rant #1: leftovers

On By rantandrave3In Rants, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I AM THE LEFTOVERS

that sit in the fridge until they go bad, and you not only throw them away. You are afraid to

touch them

smell them

look at them

You run them outside and slam the lid closed as fast as your arms and physics allow. Then you walk away. Back to your

nonstinking

kitchen. Where I no longer reside. You have been rid of me.

I am gone.

Rotting away.

But at some point you wanted me.

At some point your mouth watered at the thought of me, and your insides growled. At some time.

I was all you wanted.

But you allowed me to rot before making me a part of

you.

©C. O’Connor, 2016

Would you?

On By rantandrave3In poetry1 Comment

If I told you to do it

would it be okay?

Would you?

If I said okay

If I gave you permission

would you?

Can you?

Do you even know?

Could you know?

Unless the situation was posted

right in front of you.

If I told you to do it

would it be okay?

Would you?

©C. O’Connor, 2016