This is not yours
This small victory is mine
But thank you to the universe
For sending you to my side
Inspiration comes in all different ways
You’ve been a refreshing wind each and every day
A guide with a calm touch
A reminder of a dream
An alarm I didnt set
This is not yours
Not this victory
But thank you for reminding me
Of me
Going down
landing
in the waste land
of what was beautiful.
A magic land
where dreams enter reality.
A destruction zone
of lingering hopes
and broken promises.
Landing in the
remains of us.
We were magic,
now just darkness
and memories.
Unlived plans
turned into possible regrets.
This is my home,
where I stay.
My eternal labyrinth
of us.
©C. O’Connor, 2018
I guess I can get dark at times
I guess I’m not just all right
I think that you should know my fate
my life of hate
my broken heart’s state
I’m not pretty
I guess that’s me
but my soul is limitless
there is beauty
deep inside
where you can’t see
there is beauty inside of me
my monsters are gorgeous
my demons are free
those are the things that control me.
or help me to keep control
help, to slow my roll
to keep it chill
relax and rest
take a breath
not worry for one minute
just one
one
singular
one moment
one minute
that’s all I need
to be freed
but I guess I get dark sometimes.
©C.O’Connor, 2018
One side of this white lined page
contains,
each dream,
every hope,
and all of my fears.
Surrounded by the happiest tears,
and how crazy they all seem
now that everything I had wanted has come to be.
On the other side,
still with the white lines,
are ink blots and rage
of my demons forcefully shoved back into their cage.
No more adventures
no more dream.
I’m all that is left.
Back to just me.
That other page now
it only brings pain.
It’s funny how quickly things can change.
©C. O’Connor, 2018
I’ll take your poison
I’ll take your pain
I’ll suck it right on out of your veins
You won’t bleed
You’ll feel nothing.
I’ll take it all. I’ll wear your shame.
Wear it like a coat
hold my shoulders tight
I’ll make it fit. I’ll make it all right.
Don’t you worry now
get some sleep tonight
I’ll keep watch until the morning light.
The dreams won’t get you
I’ll fight the worries away
I’ll keep my eyes open keeping your demons at bay.
And when the morning comes
you can thank me then.
This is the best I can do, and I will until the end.
Solidarity,
to be alone completely
totally in fulfillment
exactly as much as i want it to be
because nothing happens that I don’t want to happen
complete control is lost completely
NOTHING saves us
there is no hope
only demons hiding over your bed on your chalk board
they’re always watching aren’t they
it’s annoying really
can’t breathe
can’t think
just losing my mind and
running out of
space
©O’Connor, 
2016
Tell me a story, a story that can make me cry. Tell me a story that can make me laugh. A story that can make me weak or strong. Tell me a story that can change my life, that can remind me of who I want to be. Tell me a story that can change the world, that can change my world. A story of life.
Please, tell me a story.
©C. O’Connor, 2016
No feelings. No thoughts. No words. No nothing but space and time and history, I guess. There is a lot of history here. So much so that it breaks me. Just the thought of it. Of it all. That simple thought can stop me in my tracks, and start me running back. Back to everything I was. Everything I originally ran from. History. Oh History. It can kill. It can ruin someone. It can ruin me. So we stand. No feelings. No thoughts. No words. Just nothing. Space and history. So much of each. They can make us or ruin us. Which will it be? Yes or no? Made or ruined? Home or running?
©C. O’Connor, 2016
Can’t breathe
Haven’t been
Day to day
Coughing lungs
One gives up clogs up
In my face
Months
Months!
Dealt with it
Not dying
Not of this
sick mentally
sick emotionally
sick physically
Falling mind
Falling apart
Stress from outside
Body breaking
To nothing
I’ll be gone
Grains of sand.
©C.O’Connor, 2016
The Rant 