Tag: poem

Fairytales

On By rantandrave3In poetryLeave a comment

I lived my life with half broken stories and I have told half hearted lies.

I’ve limped along on battered limbs too afraid to fall behind.

And my mind has kept itself lodged away held behind the bars rotted and decayed.

My heart is a prisoner in a mirrored room.

Its locked behind the glass in it’s beautiful tomb.

But maybe you my starry knight riding to me bathed in moonlight,

You whispered through the keyhole to unlock the doors and thaw my soul.

But then you stopped… right there in the entryway.

You’ve gone no further but havent turned away.

You battle dragons and demons to hold your space, but you’ll go no further inside this place.

The confidence you started with has turned to uncertainty.

My knight that rides in moonlight isnt sure if he still wants to save me.

Here.

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There’s a story here, somewhere buried deep,

of a girl afraid of what she’s seen.

She didnt know how to live.

She didnt know how to think.

She didnt know how to be,

so please be kind when dealing with me.

Thoughts are second,

and words come first.

Emotions are hidden,

and shes been lost

too many times and too many ways.

She will always come back at her own pace,

and she does it a lot more often these days.

So she’ll be back.

She’ll be here.

And she will be there for you always dear.

Creating habits

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I’m standing on this road again.

I’ve been here before.

I’ve walked the pockmarked pavement.

I’ve crawled along the burning cement.

The scars all remain of the past attempts down the lonely road.

No one walks with me here.

Alone again with no turns.

Straight and

Narrow.

The gradual incline burns my lungs as

Step

by

Step

We struggle.

Along with all of the different versions of me.

We continue on again.

We start ahead this time.

We skipped a few miles already traversed.

We begin again on the road

Towards something.

Something we’ve wanted.

Something we’ve needed.

This is not the easy road.

Someone.

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Someone told me I was broken.

I believed it to be true.

Someone told me I wasnt worthy.

I believed that too.

Someone stole my smiles.

I learned to hide them inside.

Someone told me I wasnt enough.

Someone lied.

Memory

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Going down

landing

in the waste land

of what was beautiful.

A magic land

where dreams enter reality.

A destruction zone

of lingering hopes

and broken promises.

Landing in the

remains of us.

We were magic,

now just darkness

and memories.

Unlived plans

turned into possible regrets.

This is my home,

where I stay.

My eternal labyrinth

of us.

Ignorance

On By rantandrave3In poetry, Uncategorized1 Comment

You’re a ghost of something I wanted but never had
reached for but could not hold
searched for but you were never there
not when you said you would be

You’re an addiction of a drug I hit one time
A need so deep it was a part of me
You weren’t mine
not to have or to hold
No part of you belonged to any part of me
but I guess thats the thing with a need
not a want

Alcohol doesn’t mix well with us
it was our courage our escape
it allowed you to walk across the room to me
it glamoured the things we should have seen
and I craved you always

Until I didn’t.

A Thank You to My Exes

On By rantandrave3In poetry, Uncategorized, writing2 Comments

It seems as if I owe you boys some thanks

Without you all and your flaws that drove me away

I may never have known what to be grateful for today

If you hadn’t answered for me assuming I didn’t know the answers and slyly dropped hints that my intellect was lesser than your own

I might have never known to love how he compliments my intelligence and my mind

If you hadn’t needed constant contact and attention because of your unrooted fear I would be as they had been

I might not appreciate his understanding that I’ll get back to him when I can

If you hadn’t suggested I be a housewife with a hobby to keep me entertained

I might not go weak whenever he shows off my career and the accomplishments I’ve obtained

If you hadn’t pushed your erection up against my back while your hands roamed and called it cuddling

I may never have realized the phenomenon that is my happiest sanctuary in the warmth of his arms

If you hadn’t tried to make me less, fearful of my confidence

I wouldn’t cherish how much he builds me up

If you all hadn’t tried your damndest to control me

I may never have realized how amazing it is to have someone who sets me free.

Someone who believes in me.

Thank you all, and I hope you find happiness.

I wonder what you learned from me.

©C O’Connor, 2018.

Dark to Light

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I’m good at writing about the sad things

the bad things

It’s easy to find the words to describe the dark and lonely times and parts of my mind

But why can’t I find words for the light?

Why can’t I find words to describe how much

I long for your touch,

or the feeling when your arms tighten around me while you sleep?

How do I even begin to start

writing the peace I feel listening to your heart?

Or how it feels when you look at me, touch me, or say my name?

How do I describe how grateful I feel

knowing that you, the one I dreamed for, are real?

No matter how many times I begin

the words are never right in the end.

No words can convey how happy I am.

I’ve had a life of writing the dark things, and I never learned the words for the good.

My only option is to continue to try and find

a collection of words worthy of this man of mine.

©C O’Connor, 2018