Tag: Love

Fairytales

On By rantandrave3In poetryLeave a comment

I lived my life with half broken stories and I have told half hearted lies.

I’ve limped along on battered limbs too afraid to fall behind.

And my mind has kept itself lodged away held behind the bars rotted and decayed.

My heart is a prisoner in a mirrored room.

Its locked behind the glass in it’s beautiful tomb.

But maybe you my starry knight riding to me bathed in moonlight,

You whispered through the keyhole to unlock the doors and thaw my soul.

But then you stopped… right there in the entryway.

You’ve gone no further but havent turned away.

You battle dragons and demons to hold your space, but you’ll go no further inside this place.

The confidence you started with has turned to uncertainty.

My knight that rides in moonlight isnt sure if he still wants to save me.

Memory

On By rantandrave3In poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Going down

landing

in the waste land

of what was beautiful.

A magic land

where dreams enter reality.

A destruction zone

of lingering hopes

and broken promises.

Landing in the

remains of us.

We were magic,

now just darkness

and memories.

Unlived plans

turned into possible regrets.

This is my home,

where I stay.

My eternal labyrinth

of us.

The Space Between

On By rantandrave3In Rants, Uncategorized, writingLeave a comment

You were always the ocean. Strong and sure. Consistent as the tides. And in the dark depths of you there were wonders to be discovered, but there were horrors as well.  There were vast empty spaces of nothing. No light, no life, just space. Over the years others had ruined some of you. They left their garbage to kill off your dreams and your hopes. But still even then you were magnificent.

Then there is me. I’m the forest where the birds sing in the trees. I’m filled with life and constantly moving,  growing, and changing. I give to the world over and over again. Walk my paths and feel the ancient peace within me. See my mountains, my history, and my scars. See the places people have taken from me. Places never allowed to regrow.

And where we met was the thing of magic. The sand of my shores cooled to your touch, and there we were a thing of fairy tales. In the space between us, where we were one, was romanticized perfection. We were immaculate as the sun shone bright above and the moon played its glorious show over your waters.

Eventually though I realized you were taking from me. Little by little and wave by wave you would take a piece of me and bring it out into the depths of you. Little by little you eroded me away. You stole my being, my life, and my time.

So slowly was the realization that we were never an us. There was always you and then there was me, and even the beautiful memories we shared on the beaches between us could never mask that you wanted me to fill your empty spaces. You wanted me to make you whole. You wanted me, my beauty, my wisdom, and my strength to soothe your fears. Until you didn’t want me anymore, and you never really did. The excitement wore off. The joy of finding a being as immaculate as yourself, as powerful as yourself, and as wise wasn’t enough anymore.

Your waves receded. My trees grew tall. And the space between grows wider.

From the Inside

On By rantandrave3In poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

For days each morning starts 

with wiping away the salty river bed

across my face

Dried tears I’d never allow to escape

during the day

make their break during the night

I don’t remember them leaving

I don’t remember letting them go

But their path is there each day

Telling me more than any conversation

ever can. 

 

 

Ignorance

On By rantandrave3In poetry, Uncategorized1 Comment

You’re a ghost of something I wanted but never had
reached for but could not hold
searched for but you were never there
not when you said you would be

You’re an addiction of a drug I hit one time
A need so deep it was a part of me
You weren’t mine
not to have or to hold
No part of you belonged to any part of me
but I guess thats the thing with a need
not a want

Alcohol doesn’t mix well with us
it was our courage our escape
it allowed you to walk across the room to me
it glamoured the things we should have seen
and I craved you always

Until I didn’t.

A Thank You to My Exes

On By rantandrave3In poetry, Uncategorized, writing2 Comments

It seems as if I owe you boys some thanks

Without you all and your flaws that drove me away

I may never have known what to be grateful for today

If you hadn’t answered for me assuming I didn’t know the answers and slyly dropped hints that my intellect was lesser than your own

I might have never known to love how he compliments my intelligence and my mind

If you hadn’t needed constant contact and attention because of your unrooted fear I would be as they had been

I might not appreciate his understanding that I’ll get back to him when I can

If you hadn’t suggested I be a housewife with a hobby to keep me entertained

I might not go weak whenever he shows off my career and the accomplishments I’ve obtained

If you hadn’t pushed your erection up against my back while your hands roamed and called it cuddling

I may never have realized the phenomenon that is my happiest sanctuary in the warmth of his arms

If you hadn’t tried to make me less, fearful of my confidence

I wouldn’t cherish how much he builds me up

If you all hadn’t tried your damndest to control me

I may never have realized how amazing it is to have someone who sets me free.

Someone who believes in me.

Thank you all, and I hope you find happiness.

I wonder what you learned from me.

©C O’Connor, 2018.

Dark to Light

On By rantandrave3In UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’m good at writing about the sad things

the bad things

It’s easy to find the words to describe the dark and lonely times and parts of my mind

But why can’t I find words for the light?

Why can’t I find words to describe how much

I long for your touch,

or the feeling when your arms tighten around me while you sleep?

How do I even begin to start

writing the peace I feel listening to your heart?

Or how it feels when you look at me, touch me, or say my name?

How do I describe how grateful I feel

knowing that you, the one I dreamed for, are real?

No matter how many times I begin

the words are never right in the end.

No words can convey how happy I am.

I’ve had a life of writing the dark things, and I never learned the words for the good.

My only option is to continue to try and find

a collection of words worthy of this man of mine.

©C O’Connor, 2018

Flipped

On By rantandrave3In poetry, Uncategorized1 Comment

One side of this white lined page

contains,

each dream,

every hope,

and all of my fears.

Surrounded by the happiest tears,

and how crazy they all seem

now that everything I had wanted has come to be.

On the other side,

still with the white lines,

are ink blots and rage

of my demons forcefully shoved back into their cage.

No more adventures

no more dream.

I’m all that is left.

Back to just me.

That other page now

it only brings pain.

It’s funny how quickly things can change.

©C. O’Connor, 2018