Tag: free verse

Past Feels

On By rantandrave3In art, observations, poetry, Uncategorized, writingLeave a comment

No feelings. No thoughts. No words. No nothing but space and time and history, I guess. There is a lot of history here. So much so that it breaks me. Just the thought of it. Of it all. That simple thought can stop me in my tracks, and start me running back. Back to everything I was. Everything I originally ran from. History. Oh History. It can kill. It can ruin someone. It can ruin me. So we stand. No feelings. No thoughts. No words. Just nothing. Space and history. So much of each. They can make us or ruin us. Which will it be? Yes or no? Made or ruined? Home or running?

©C. O’Connor, 2016

Thoughts on Time

On By rantandrave3In Rants, UncategorizedLeave a comment

My watch stopped. The world stopped. In that space on my wrist time no longer exists. It does not move forward or back. It is still. Life is still. At 10:37 on the 23rd. If it is morning or night I do not know. If it is Summer or Winter I do not know.

It does not matter. Times does not have to matter. We make it matter. We create the rush or lag. Maybe we should take out all of the batteries.

©C. O’Connor

A little bit of my darkness

On By rantandrave3In Rants, UncategorizedLeave a comment

My hands are shaking today. I hate the shaking. It’s like the set up to the downfall of my mind. The doors are rattling and everyone is screaming. The hinges have loosened and the cages holding in my demons aren’t as strong as they used to be.

My fucking demons are screaming at me.

They hate me. They’ll ruin me if given the chance.

But sometimes I wonder what would happen if I let them out. Would they really ruin my life or show me the life I could have? Could live? Should be living?

A little chaos could be good for the soul.

The bottles that hold my emotions are breaking. They’ve been packed in too tight. It looks like a mess in there. Be careful of the broken glass!

I’m losing myself!  OR Am I finding myself?

Was there really every anything worth saving? Is there anything left worth salvaging? I think my demons are laughing at me now. They know I’m losing it. That small bit of control I still had. Why am I so afraid of losing something I was never proud of to begin with? Was I ever proud of myself?

Rarely… only when I let the demons out.

©C. O’Connor 2016

#7 – It’s Complicated

On By rantandrave3In poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I wasn’t flying I was falling

but suspended in air

I was hurt I was crying

I needed you there

you were gone

you were missing

you ran away

and now I’m left and I’m lonely

it’s just another day

A day in my life

come on and walk in my shoes

A day in my hell

singing the blues

a lost kid a found soul

reckless to a fault

Get to know who I am

just leave me to fall

Not fly

suspended in air.

© O’Connor, 2016

 

#6

On By rantandrave3In poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Stab me in the back to see if I bleed.

Stab me in the heart out of curiosity.

Rip out my soul to see if it’s there.

Hurt me all you want I truly don’t care.

What will happen?

If I don’t bleed

If I’m not hurt

If it’s not there

Do you think I am a lifeless machine?

Oh honey, I’m like nothing you’ve ever seen.

©C. O’Connor, 2016

Judgement

On By rantandrave3In poetryLeave a comment

Have you ever known the air in your hair

or the touch of harm?

Have you ever known the wisp of breath

or heat of the sun?

Do you know the middle place of heat to cold

or the prayer not to get too old?

Do you know the wish for peace in a world

lost to war?

lost to ego

lost to pay

lost to the amenities to get through the day

They are lost in their own minds

They are focused on their own grind

They don’t even see you

not me

not see

no fear no feelings

fight or flight is dumbed down

muted

no running

sitting duck, ready to be rocked

ready to be obliterated

ready to fall

down below

where no one knows

the air, touch, wisp, or heat

where no pain, feels, or emotions seep

there is nothing, all new

I’ve known this hell. I’ve thrived there.

Have you?

©C. O’Connor, 2016