There’s a story here, somewhere buried deep,
of a girl afraid of what she’s seen.
She didnt know how to live.
She didnt know how to think.
She didnt know how to be,
so please be kind when dealing with me.
Thoughts are second,
and words come first.
Emotions are hidden,
and shes been lost
too many times and too many ways.
She will always come back at her own pace,
and she does it a lot more often these days.
So she’ll be back.
She’ll be here.
And she will be there for you always dear.
It seems as if I owe you boys some thanks
Without you all and your flaws that drove me away
I may never have known what to be grateful for today
If you hadn’t answered for me assuming I didn’t know the answers and slyly dropped hints that my intellect was lesser than your own
I might have never known to love how he compliments my intelligence and my mind
If you hadn’t needed constant contact and attention because of your unrooted fear I would be as they had been
I might not appreciate his understanding that I’ll get back to him when I can
If you hadn’t suggested I be a housewife with a hobby to keep me entertained
I might not go weak whenever he shows off my career and the accomplishments I’ve obtained
If you hadn’t pushed your erection up against my back while your hands roamed and called it cuddling
I may never have realized the phenomenon that is my happiest sanctuary in the warmth of his arms
If you hadn’t tried to make me less, fearful of my confidence
I wouldn’t cherish how much he builds me up
If you all hadn’t tried your damndest to control me
I may never have realized how amazing it is to have someone who sets me free.
Someone who believes in me.
Thank you all, and I hope you find happiness.
I wonder what you learned from me.
©C O’Connor, 2018.
The Rant 